4.0 (1 rating)
Before I'm Gone
New York Times bestselling author Heidi McLaughlin tells a poignant story about living life to the fullest--and savoring the small moments along the way.
Palmer Sinclair has never needed anyone's help. A successful loan officer, she's all work and no play. But when splitting headaches and blurred vision begin to affect her job, she begrudgingly sees a doctor and receives a diagnosis that leaves her shaken to her core and with little time left. Facing an uncertain future, Palmer makes a bucket list, determined to do the things she'd only dreamed of before she goes.
Kent Wagner has dedicated his life to helping others. An army medic turned paramedic, he's a regular at Palmer's bank who makes his monthly car loan payments in person just to see her radiant smile. After responding to not one but two 911 calls involving Palmer, he learns about her bucket list. Touched by her circumstances--and needing a distraction from his own--Kent offers to take Palmer to the places on her list.
Neither is prepared for the emotional journey ahead...or how little time they have left together, but the friendship they find in that brief time might be the most lasting legacy of all.
Pages: 367
ISBN: 9781662513510
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Available in: Paperback, Audiobook, Library Binding
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4.0
1 rating
Dhawy F.
Aug 9, 2026
Palmer and Kent’s presence feels larger than the pages. Every narration about them keeps shifting my mind, pulling me into their world as if they are not fictional at all. I catch myself reacting to their moments the same way I would if two real people were letting me witness their good days, their breakdowns, their sweetness, and everything in between.
This book brings a full roller coaster of heartwarming and heartbreaking emotions. If you are ready to sway and be shifted the way I was, then this book is for you.
First of all, the storytelling style. The pacing is slow and written in third person. Does it make me feel disconnected?
No. Not at all.
For me, the slow pacing helps me see the main characters clearly. Some readers feel distant because of the chosen POV, but I find Heidi’s choice fitting. Third person suits the story. It allows room to explore their backgrounds and the layers of their personal struggles. It helps you understand the reasoning behind their decisions.
Kent is the one responding to two 911 calls involving Palmer. The first is when she collapses at work. The second is when she gets dizzy in her apartment and hits her head on the tub. After taking her to the hospital, Kent finds her bucket list on her desk. He slips it into his pocket and studies it quietly. From that moment on, he decides to help her make every wish come true.
Palmer carries a resilience that stays with you. Even as her health collapses, she keeps everything private. She has no family, and although her coworkers are kind, she doesn’t tell them about her diagnosis.
When Palmer decides to quit her job, she quits without saying any word about her condition. She refuses pity. She doesn’t want sorry eyes.
To Palmer, dying gets in the way, but she still wants to live her best life. Having a tumor does not stop her from listing places she has never been, as well as taking notes of things she has never done. Even though she is terrified and unsure if her body can handle traveling, she still pushes herself toward her list.
Kent brings steady, unconditional love. His patience, his commitment, and the way he looks at Palmer’s determination feel genuinely warm. Later, he becomes her one and only cheerleader.
The more you read, the more you understand that Kent does not walk away from his complicated problems with another girl named Maeve. His caring nature is everywhere in the book, so it becomes clear that helping Palmer is not his attempt to escape. It is who he is.
He chooses something meaningful for Palmer before she is gone. Something he needs too.
What stands out is how an ordinary connection becomes something incredibly close. Kent has been a long term customer at Palmer’s bank. Just a paramedic making monthly car payments. Palmer is the loan officer helping him. They don’t know each other, but they both have quiet crushes.
Palmer admires him for his kindness, his looks, and the way he compliments the staff. Meanwhile, Kent is not subtle about his feelings to her.
“You know, you can make this payment online.”
“I know,” he said. “But then I wouldn’t get to come in here and say hi . . . to you.”
(McLaughlin, Heidi. Before I'm Gone, p. 9. Montlake. Kindle Edition.)
Being around Kent makes Palmer realize how much she enjoys seeing him every month. Later, she even wants his company. But Palmer grew up in an orphanage and trained herself to be tough. Accepting help feels wrong to her. But eventually, Kent is the only person willing to go through her list with her. Palmer has no one else.
Now, let’s talk about some of my favorite lines and why they stay with me.
“Because being sick and dying at the same time doesn’t sound like the best way to go out.”
(McLaughlin, Heidi. Before I'm Gone, p. 68. Montlake. Kindle Edition.)
I love the strong heaviness in this line. This is when Palmer decides not to take her medication. Not that I’m saying anyone should follow her path, but the line actually hits hard. She knows her condition will end her life, and chemotherapy feels like more suffering. She wants to use her remaining time to live and feel fulfilled.
“Most people don’t want to believe anything is wrong, until it’s too late.”
(McLaughlin, Heidi. Before I'm Gone, p. 28. Montlake. Kindle Edition.)
This is Kent. Simple and quotable. It resonates with many situations. In the story, it shows how he gently reminds Palmer that denial is common. There’s no need to blame herself.
“What I’m trying to say is we can only live for the moment, but I promise you I’m going to give you as many tomorrows as I can. That’s my goal.”
(McLaughlin, Heidi. Before I'm Gone, p. 115. Montlake. Kindle Edition.)
These words mix compassion, love, and sincerity. It shows Kent’s desire to give Palmer joy for as long as possible. Kent gives her so much hope to live for, and he follows through. These are not empty promises.
“We can’t dwell on the past. We have to look to the future and be the people we want to be.”
(McLaughlin, Heidi. Before I'm Gone, p. 148. Montlake. Kindle Edition.)
Now, this line highlights Kent’s own purpose. He chooses not to drown in what he lost. He keeps moving forward. I appreciate that message.
“Palmer, you have no idea how much you’ve helped me heal. I needed this trip and the time away as much as you did. Asking you to do this was the best decision of my life.”
(McLaughlin, Heidi. Before I'm Gone, p. 152. Montlake. Kindle Edition.)
This feels like a real man reflecting honestly on everything. Not just about Palmer’s healing, but his own. He is not just saying things. He is feeling them deeply.
Like I said, This book brings a full roller coaster of emotions. This book will hold your heart, shake it, soften it, and remind you how powerful it is to choose love and happiness even in the face of an ending.
I promise, Palmer and Kent stay with you long after the final page. All the honest and raw human emotions in their presence will definitely amaze you forever.
This book brings a full roller coaster of heartwarming and heartbreaking emotions. If you are ready to sway and be shifted the way I was, then this book is for you.
First of all, the storytelling style. The pacing is slow and written in third person. Does it make me feel disconnected?
No. Not at all.
For me, the slow pacing helps me see the main characters clearly. Some readers feel distant because of the chosen POV, but I find Heidi’s choice fitting. Third person suits the story. It allows room to explore their backgrounds and the layers of their personal struggles. It helps you understand the reasoning behind their decisions.
Kent is the one responding to two 911 calls involving Palmer. The first is when she collapses at work. The second is when she gets dizzy in her apartment and hits her head on the tub. After taking her to the hospital, Kent finds her bucket list on her desk. He slips it into his pocket and studies it quietly. From that moment on, he decides to help her make every wish come true.
Palmer carries a resilience that stays with you. Even as her health collapses, she keeps everything private. She has no family, and although her coworkers are kind, she doesn’t tell them about her diagnosis.
When Palmer decides to quit her job, she quits without saying any word about her condition. She refuses pity. She doesn’t want sorry eyes.
To Palmer, dying gets in the way, but she still wants to live her best life. Having a tumor does not stop her from listing places she has never been, as well as taking notes of things she has never done. Even though she is terrified and unsure if her body can handle traveling, she still pushes herself toward her list.
Kent brings steady, unconditional love. His patience, his commitment, and the way he looks at Palmer’s determination feel genuinely warm. Later, he becomes her one and only cheerleader.
The more you read, the more you understand that Kent does not walk away from his complicated problems with another girl named Maeve. His caring nature is everywhere in the book, so it becomes clear that helping Palmer is not his attempt to escape. It is who he is.
He chooses something meaningful for Palmer before she is gone. Something he needs too.
What stands out is how an ordinary connection becomes something incredibly close. Kent has been a long term customer at Palmer’s bank. Just a paramedic making monthly car payments. Palmer is the loan officer helping him. They don’t know each other, but they both have quiet crushes.
Palmer admires him for his kindness, his looks, and the way he compliments the staff. Meanwhile, Kent is not subtle about his feelings to her.
“You know, you can make this payment online.”
“I know,” he said. “But then I wouldn’t get to come in here and say hi . . . to you.”
(McLaughlin, Heidi. Before I'm Gone, p. 9. Montlake. Kindle Edition.)
Being around Kent makes Palmer realize how much she enjoys seeing him every month. Later, she even wants his company. But Palmer grew up in an orphanage and trained herself to be tough. Accepting help feels wrong to her. But eventually, Kent is the only person willing to go through her list with her. Palmer has no one else.
Now, let’s talk about some of my favorite lines and why they stay with me.
“Because being sick and dying at the same time doesn’t sound like the best way to go out.”
(McLaughlin, Heidi. Before I'm Gone, p. 68. Montlake. Kindle Edition.)
I love the strong heaviness in this line. This is when Palmer decides not to take her medication. Not that I’m saying anyone should follow her path, but the line actually hits hard. She knows her condition will end her life, and chemotherapy feels like more suffering. She wants to use her remaining time to live and feel fulfilled.
“Most people don’t want to believe anything is wrong, until it’s too late.”
(McLaughlin, Heidi. Before I'm Gone, p. 28. Montlake. Kindle Edition.)
This is Kent. Simple and quotable. It resonates with many situations. In the story, it shows how he gently reminds Palmer that denial is common. There’s no need to blame herself.
“What I’m trying to say is we can only live for the moment, but I promise you I’m going to give you as many tomorrows as I can. That’s my goal.”
(McLaughlin, Heidi. Before I'm Gone, p. 115. Montlake. Kindle Edition.)
These words mix compassion, love, and sincerity. It shows Kent’s desire to give Palmer joy for as long as possible. Kent gives her so much hope to live for, and he follows through. These are not empty promises.
“We can’t dwell on the past. We have to look to the future and be the people we want to be.”
(McLaughlin, Heidi. Before I'm Gone, p. 148. Montlake. Kindle Edition.)
Now, this line highlights Kent’s own purpose. He chooses not to drown in what he lost. He keeps moving forward. I appreciate that message.
“Palmer, you have no idea how much you’ve helped me heal. I needed this trip and the time away as much as you did. Asking you to do this was the best decision of my life.”
(McLaughlin, Heidi. Before I'm Gone, p. 152. Montlake. Kindle Edition.)
This feels like a real man reflecting honestly on everything. Not just about Palmer’s healing, but his own. He is not just saying things. He is feeling them deeply.
Like I said, This book brings a full roller coaster of emotions. This book will hold your heart, shake it, soften it, and remind you how powerful it is to choose love and happiness even in the face of an ending.
I promise, Palmer and Kent stay with you long after the final page. All the honest and raw human emotions in their presence will definitely amaze you forever.